Procrastination

Procrastination is not laziness but a running away.

Is a running away from pain: a running away from the pain of rejection, the pain of feeling like a failure, the pain of being proven again and again that you really are worthless, that you cannot do anything right, that you don’t have the required skills, that you don’t have the necessary knowledge, that you don’t have the capacity to achieve whatever you might want to, that you don't have the capacity to reach your unachievable dreams.

You procrastinate because you know that as long as you do not try you can live with the illusion that one day you will act, and you will be successful. However, once you’ve tried and failed, there will be no hope left for you anymore, and a lack of hope can be much worse than the unknown because when you live in a world of shadows and doubt, hope is oftentimes the only thing you've got left; the only thing that keeps you alive.

Why do we never procrastinate on things that we like, and we know for sure that we can do? Even if they are hard and time-consuming and even if we are tired, we always find the energy to do the things we love and we can do successfully because we instinctively know that they will make us feel better about ourselves and about our life not worse.

So if you're finding yourself often procrastinating when there is so much to do and when you feel overwhelmed by life's responsibilities and choices don't beat yourself up and don't treat yourself with contempt or disgust just realise that this attitude is nothing but a coping mechanism, a fight or flight reaction, caused by a stressful situation, and instead of worsening everything by judging yourself harshly and lowering your self-esteem further, try to understand what’s causing your feelings of stress and helplessness.

What is it that you are afraid of?

What is it that you’re trying to avoid and why?

Is it the fear of failure and the loss of illusions? Is it the fear of being humiliated or hurt?

Is it the fear of what others may say or may think?

Is it the fear of losing your own self-esteem?

What is it and why is that so important for you?

Why is that thing more important than your own life and even more important than your hope for a better future?

Does it even make sense?

Isn't the price you pay through nothingness and a wasted life bigger than the cost of failure or humiliation which you might have to face?

Ask yourself all these questions and don't rest until you find the answer, but not the answer you think you should find, and not even the one that makes more sense; but the one that will help you overcome your fears and dive into the future with courage and confidence.

Before getting to that point of resolution and change though, don't forget to give yourself all the love and kindness in the world, because these are the things that your soul needs most in such moments, and contrary to the general opinion, it is not by judging and shaming yourself that you will find the confidence to move on, but by becoming your most devoted supporter and by never forgetting to cheer yourself on no matter what happens.

No matter how many times you might fall or how many times you might fail be always on your own side, be your own unshakable rock in the middle of the storm and never allow your faith in yourself to waiver because whenever your life's circumstances might not, please the people around you, your unshakable faith in yourself and your own unconditional support, are the only things you will always be able to count on to help you move on.

And if you see anyone procrastinating today, perhaps your child or your spouse, or a friend, be kind with them: don’t judge and don’t push! Just say:

“I love you” and I know you can do everything you want to do, whenever the time will come for you to be ready, and if you need any help, I am here for you.”

Offer to help, be supportive, make yourself part of the team as that might be exactly what that person needs to get moving.

For someone to be there, not to judge nor to push, but just to say:

“You’re good enough!”